Happy Thoughts

How I envy happy people.

Happy thoughts as they say...
Think,
happy thoughts

Think,
positive

How do these people do it;
Even in the darkest hour
Even in the toughest of time -
to stay positive and happy.

I was a long time sad a long time before.
My signs show the extremes...
Happy - very happy
Sad- very sad

Worst of all i can't hide how or what i felt.

I was a pessimist (and at times i still believe i am)
It is written in the stars -
not that i am a firm believer of them.

Worst of all i can't hide how or what i felt.

So i tried to make people happy instead.
Conceal my thoughts
Kept it all inside.

It felt good.
I worked fine
So i thought.
For awhile that is...

Beyond the laughs and smiles
All those times i made someone smile
I still felt- the anger,
the emptiness,
the sadness
all coming back.

Worse;
most times i felt sick but i don't know why.
Why!

All the times that I had made a difference in others,
All the times I was made others laugh and smile

All the times I smiled
All the times I laughed

I still felt sick.

The truth i was miserable,
Empty
Sad
Angry

Yet i don't know why
Yet I don't know what
I was miserable about.

I thought that if I had made others happy
Smile,
Laugh...

I'll make it all go away...
And i'll be happy.

But NO!

Times when I was alone
Times when I was tired and weary

All the
Emptiness
Sadness
Anger

comes creeping through my head.

I am a CLOwn.
I hated myself and became more miserable.

I told myself I should take care of myself
and
Feel that ounce of hapiness in myself, feel gd about myself
Then others will be too;
For then I will spread unpretentious joy around.

Moderation my friends.
Feel happy and good about yourself
And truly be happy
For your sake and others

In Loving Memory. [II]

Music,Melody & Lyrics by Mark Tremonti
Perfomed by Alterbridge
Album: One day Remains

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone and...
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly.

I never knew what it was to be alone...no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting
But now I come home and I miss your face so

Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free

I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of the one that was so true

You were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I never knew what it was to be alone...no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same no

It feels empty and alone
I just can't believe you're gone

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free

I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad
We set you free from sorrowbut
I'll still love you more tomorrow
and you'll be here
with me still

All you did you did with feeling
And you always found a meaning
And you always will
And you always will

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free

I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

*This song is dedicated to those who've come and gone...

Picture courtesy of www.excelpictureframes.com

In Loving Memory

Hello there.
This next one by me is nothing rancid or morbid.

Juz a thought that has brought me thinking...

Dunno wat triggered it.
Mayb its the sudden glimpse of the future...
Maybe it's karma ...or..
Or maybe juz the fear of the thought that ...


That...
Somehow or rather...
Sooner or later;
The person we love (or hate) will...

Will pass us by... gone with the seasons...
Remembered by 'Our Beloved'

That too, soon will be consumed by time and forgotten.

What is it about death...
That fasinates us;
That brings the hours down to the minute...
to the seconds...
to a standstill...

Indulged in ourselves asking questions after questions
Questions that most of the time,
Don't have the answers,
Yet we persist...

One that has often evade us is - not about ourselves -
But to the departed.

Have we said enough during their lifetime?
Or for the times during their lifetimes,
We have said little or none;
We have said little or none that made difference - even once in their lifetime

Till the time comes for us to regret not saying those words that no matter how brief or simple
Made some difference in that lifetime of theirs.

What is fearful is not death itself -
But dying, alone (pardon me for the methaphor or pun)

The thought of dying, alone
Unsure if ever anyone have...
Ever -
Valued you;
Cherished you;
Had anything worthwhile

. . . During the long lifetime you have left
Before "In Memorandum"

To the living -
Have you said
I love you
Thank you
I miss you

Simple 3 words that could have made a difference of a lifetime.
Have you said enough?
For the departed to take of what's left?

Time waits for no one
While time heals all wounds...

Remember,
We, the departed have none left for the taking

But for the living,
Don't leave it till the time has come and gone
For the departed;
For us to regret we've said little or none.

- In loving Memory of -
My dearest grandmother

Wasted Time

Weary...
Suddenly I felt cumbersome,
Sick and Tired.

Been feeling like this for awhile.
Today's no better.

It's a mistake to come to work today.
Think of them young minds.
Think of them I say.
My responsibility?
I came and i saw them waste time away.
Despite all interventions.

To try and get them to learn
As much as i want to learn from them.

Sick was what i became.

It's time to let go...

Myself...